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‘Tis the season…for top five lists
Posted on December 20, 2007 by npizzolato
Filed Under Da Net, Mediabytes, Movies, Music, TV, Youtube | Leave a Comment
Oh sweet, sweet top five lists.
I won’t lie, this is always one of my highlights of the year. Writing these lists. And it’s not because it’s such a unique thing. Top (Insert number here) lists are as much of an editorial cliche as you can get it. It’s right up there with “What’s hot and what’s not” (almost always accompanied with a funny graphic of a mercury thermometer), it’s pretty much the same five movies/songs/tv shows on every list with the exception of one dark horse to stir controversy.
So my theory is to do the top five things I wish I never experienced of 2007.
Number 1: The 2007 MTV VMA’s Britney Spears and the 2007 VMA’s
“Did you hear? Britney is going to be perform her new song this Sunday?”
“Holy cow? Seriously? OMG! That will be huge, I can’t wait to see her!”
(Flashback several months before)
“Did you hear? Britney shaved off all of her hair one night and now the salon is selling her hair, empty can of redbull, and the shears that cut the hair for a million bucks?!”
“Holy cow? Seriously? OMG! She has gone totally insane.”
If it weren’t for the whole Iraq fiasco that the United States is apart of, it could be argued that this was the year of Britney. If the fallen star of teen icondom even as much as got her nails painted while drinking a frappecino we knew about it.
But it hit it’s high mark when in March, Britney shaved her head in either an attempt to audition for “G.I. Jane 2″ or a bout of postpartum depression.
And then her stints in rehab. And then it was pretty quiet. Until we heard her new single “Gimme More”.
Which I think we all agree was pretty awful.
And that was followed by this
…the VMA performance that we all want to forget. Filled with blantant lipsynching, forgotten dance moves and performance that left us begging for the performances that were filled with blantant lipsynching and memorable dance moves…and snakes.
Do I feel bad for Britney? Absolutely, but seriously I’m Britneyed out.
The VMA’s were expecting Britney to boost their show, instead no scandal-scantily-clad songstress could help that train wreck of an awards show. We got performances that could’ve been awesome, but instead we had to watch them in bits pieces as they used star power like Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, and Linkin Park to name a few to cut to commercials.
The one bright spot was when Justin Timberlake told MTV to play more music. I never thought Justin would be the voice of reason.
2) The Epilogue to Harry Potter 7.
Out of all the books I’ve ever read, I’ve never been more annoyed at a book’s epilogue. In fact I think this epilogue should be the reason that no books should ever have an epilogue. Am I happy that everyone lived happily ever after? Of course! But do I need to be told that. And c’mon Harry naming his son after Dumbledore and Snape. Ugh! How cliche. The book was flawless and then we have to deal with that. I know it’s a kids book, but I wish I could take away that chapter.
3) Borat in all of his glory
I liked Borat a lot, I thought it was really funny, I just didn’t like the nude wrestling scene in the hotel. If you saw the movie you understand. If you didn’t…see the movie and you’ll understand. (Yes the movie came out in ‘06, but I didn’t see it until ‘07.)
4) Norbit
Eddie Murphy use to be funny, but now he feels every movie he needs to put on a fat suit. Nutty Proffesor was hysterical. The Klumps had its moments. Norbit was just a waste of time, film, and money. ‘Nuff said.
5) “Save the Dolphins, Save the world”
You know, as Heroes fan, everything was right with the world. Yeah because of the writers strike we only got 11 episodes for volume 2.
But it was a good 11 episodes. Peter Petrelli survived and had amnesia. Veronica Mars was shocking people. Sylar was up to his old shennigans. And poor Claire (Hayden Panettiere) just wanted to be a normal high school student (who drove a brand new Nissan Rogue).
And then Hayden had to ruin it for me, by trying to save the dolphins.
Hayden CryingThe girl who cannot be destroyed, does what any young starlet does with oodles of money and no more filming for Heroes because of an impending writers strike. She goes to Japan and forms a human wall between dolphins and Japanese fishermen.
D’uh!
When she emerged from the water she began to cry stating that, “One little baby dolphin stuck his head out and kinda looked at me and the thought that it’s no longer with us is really hard to take.”
Yes it’s a sad image, but at the same time it’s the fishermen’s livlihood.
And she almost single-handily ruined my Heroes experience, because whenever I watched and she started to cry about something teenagerly and chaotic in her super-powered life, all I could think of is, “Man, she’s thinking about dolphins again.”
So that was 2007 folks. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see what parts of ‘08 I regret seeing.
Were toenails not available?
Posted on December 12, 2007 by npizzolato
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Earlier today an unnamed telephone bidder won a lock of John Lennon’s hair. The piece of hair was from the Beatles hairdresser who sold memorabilia given to her by the Fab Four, so that “they could be with the fans.” I’m sure it had nothing to do with the amount Beatle-abilia gets these days among fans both young and old.
How much did the lock of hair cost?
$48,000.
Seriously. 48 Grand.
For a piece of hair.
You know I could use 48 Grand for a lot of things. But instead this person bought a piece of hair.
The only way I can justify this is if the bidder is going to clone Lennon like in “Superman 4.” Except this Lennon wouldn’t be forged in the fires of the sun and listen to Lex Luthor like a father.
Or would he?
What now?
Posted on December 10, 2007 by npizzolato
Filed Under Da Net, Mediabytes, Reality TV, Sci-Fi, TV, Wiki-tastic | Leave a Comment
What to do on a Monday night?
Or on any night for that matter, do you want to know what shows still have episodes left? Check out this nifty list.
With Heroes now over and a number of other shows on hiatus, now that the studios have no more pre-writer’s strike scripts, many of you like me will have to start watching *shudder* Reality TV.
I’m not a big fan of Reality TV. I mean If I wanted to live in Reality, I wouldn’t watch TV.
Lord knows I get myself in enough situations in real life that they would keep me entertained. And I could easily read a book or work on my book that I’ve been a working on for about five years now (and stuck perpetually on page 30), but why be productive when I go home. Read more
Where good shows go when they die
Posted on November 28, 2007 by npizzolato
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I recently moved into a new place.
One of the many selling points, was that cable and internet are included in the rent, which makes it slightly more affordable and fantastic because I only have to write one check.
Except it’s not cable, it’s satellite tv. It’s not a bad thing, just different.
For instance. You have Comcast (or some other cable company) and you go to a friends house in another town or state and they share that cable company. All the channels are different. So you have to spend your time there (especially if it’s over a prolonged period of time like a week) getting to know the channels so you can quickly flip back and forth.
I know none of you will admit to it, but I know you are all thinking it to. It’s usually not that hard, but it is time consuming and a little bothersome.
So jumping from Comcast to Direct Tv was quite the adjustment. The channels aren’t the same at all. Not even close. MTV (yes I still watch it) use to be 28, now it’s like 435. I finally just learned that ESPN is 306.
But what satellite does give you is a huge heaping of specialized channels. Channels that show shows that have been long since canceled and almost forgotten. Read more
Let’s Face It…
Posted on November 21, 2007 by npizzolato
Filed Under Concerts, Mediabytes, Music | Leave a Comment
…we all like when our favorite bands come back from a hiatus to rock.
This isn’t like the Police though. Or Springsteen. Or Kiss. Or the tenth time the Stones have gotten back together.
It’s Boston’s own Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
Some would argue their single “The Impression that I Get” off the album Let’s Face It, helped ignite the late nineties Ska craze that introduced pop culture to Goldfinger and Reel Big Fish, at least it did for me.
That’s right, I jumped on the Ska band-wagon (no pun intended) and loved every minute of it. C’mon…horns and punk music…how can you go wrong?
And After a four year hiatus (following the album Jack-knife into a Swan Dive) the Bosstones are back together, and although I’m not sure if a new album is going to be on the way, but I know they are coming back by throwing the tenth Hometown Throwdown at the Middle East in Boston the last week of December and then New Years Eve at Lupos.
By far it’s the hardest ticket since the Sox got into the series.
But will that stop me?
Oh no.
To quote Wayne, “I will be there, oh yes, I will be there.”
A Question for the Ladies
Posted on November 16, 2007 by npizzolato
Filed Under Mediabytes, Sci-Fi, TV | 4 Comments
Is it possible to run in boots with six inch heels?
And if so how fast?
The reason I watch is that according to The Bionic Woman, it’s possible and the top speed is to exceed that of a car racing away from you.
As a guy I know that if there was a bionic man so he wouldn’t be bothered by six inch heels. A bionic man could burn up the pavement in shoes.
But how much would heels constrain a bionic woman. I mean I know she’s bionic, but does being bionic stop her from tripping?
And if her legs are super strong wouldn’t they just break the heels?
Just a thought….
(Watch Bionic Woman, before the writers strike forces it off the air.)
The strike needs to end!
Posted on November 8, 2007 by npizzolato
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For the love of god, pay writers what they want!
And I say this no just because I am a writer, but because I also found out that Heroes has only been written up to episode 11. And we’re on like episode eight or so. And frankly, Heroes is one of four highlights of my TV week (Pushing Daisies and Bionic Woman and The Office).
So…give them whatever they want, the season has just gotten good.
“Phenomenon” is slightly less than that.
Posted on November 1, 2007 by npizzolato
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I’m going to be up front, I didn’t watch all of NBC’s two-hour “Phenomenon,” frankly I forgot it was on, I only noticed when at 9 o’clock, I went to see “Bionic Woman” and instead I saw a guy telling pseudo-celeb Ross “the Intern” to bend a quarter in his fingers.
What “Phenomenon” is, is a magic reality show, where mentalist Uri Geller and magician Cris Angel judge and then American votes.
Yes, it’s “American Houdini.”
But it really wasn’t holding my interest so I switched to “Ghost Hunters Live” on Sci-Fi. Which turned out to be a mistake, since I remembered that I’m usually persuaded that not only do ghosts exist, but they could also be in my digs.
So I went back to “Phenomenon,” where another guy stopped his heart while Raven from the Disney Channel’s “That’s so Raven” screamed and ran away.
An ok trick, but after watching “The Illusionist” and “The Prestige” magic kind of bores me now. But this time I stuck around to see what Geller and Angel had to say.
And they both gave it rave reviews.
Yeah it was a good piece of trickery, and Raven’s response was classic, but why do I want to watch a show where both judges are polite and complimentary. I rely on judges to be rude and witty so that I can make my decisions about reality tv contestants.
How am I suppose to make up my mind with, “You did a great job.” and “The best trick I’ve seen tonight.”
Annoyed with the lack of actual judging and with nothing else on tv I went back to “Ghost Hunters Live,” hoping for two things:
1) I would see proof, th at beyond a shadow of a doubt proved that ghosts existed.
2) Would not only be afraid of ghosts.
Saddly, everytime they looked as if they might show me proof, they went to commericial. And it turns out I was still afraid of ghosts.
Psych OUT Music
Posted on October 26, 2007 by npizzolato
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Have you ever been to a Yankee v. Red Sox game at Fenway?
Did you ever notice that the first time Joe Torre comes to the mound the PA system starts playing Jimi Hendrix’s “Hey Joe.”
Now that the Yanks got rid of Joe it won’t happen anymore, but I always got a kick out of that.
Or how when a pitcher is brought into an inning with runners in scoring position, you hear Billy Joel’s “Pressure.”
Brilliant.
Well it wasn’t so brilliant five years ago when the Chicago White Sox fired their music producer for playing a White Snake’s “Here I Go Again on my Own” when then Cleveland Indian Chuck Finlay came to the mound. The dig was that he was coming into a pressure situation and the White Sox wanted to pscyh him out. What they “say” they didn’t realize was that Finlay’s wife, ex-model and actress Tawny Kitaen, had just filed divorce papers, and that her former husband was the front-man for Whitesnake. And also Finlay had taken out domestic abuse report on her for attacking him.
Needless to say the music disturbed Finlay enough for him to give up nine runs later that game.
But that’s just a great example of how much a song can get stuck in your head. And stay there.
What brought this thought has been everyone’s infatuation with Papelbon’s ode to Riverdance to the Dropkick Murphy’s “Shipping up to Boston.” And when you see him take the mound to that song…and how electric Fenway gets with all the fans clapping and singing…it really is a cool situation.
It is…unless your Chuck Finlay.
Just not scared anymore
Posted on October 25, 2007 by npizzolato
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I hate Halloween.
Well let me clarify, I like the holiday. I’m a big fan of dressing up and seeing other people’s costumes who are ten times better than mine. If I go as a pirate and buy an eyepatch and a hat, some guy will have have on a pirate shirt and a vintage sabre from the 17th century.
If I decide to go as Tom Brady and wear my jersey, some other guy will actually get plastic surgery to get a cleft chin.
It’s just the way it is. I love halloween but I never have the “perfect” costume (although four years ago I went as “That Guy” and I thought it was pretty clever.)
But the reason I’ve hated Halloween lately is that the new tag line for the Saw movies. “If it’s Halloween it must be Saw.”
I’m not against horror movies, I’m against horror movies that are just gory and test your gag reflex not your mind.
The first Saw movie was in my mind legitimately scary. And in actuality it wasn’t that gory. Yeah there was some blood and guts, but the first Saw worked on the assumption of making you fear for the worse and then you just seeing a half-a-second of the worse and it was that anticipation with little payoff that had you on the edge of your seat.
And it was great because it was only like a cast of six, and it was under the radar, and indie, and everything that made a good scary movie.
Since then the last three films have just gotten bigger and more gory and have dropped having any type of potential mindgame with a viewer.
It’s gotten to the point now that after the first Saw with a pretty decent surprise ending, we have had the “Saw surprise” at the end of every movie. It’s a surprise anymore…it’s formulaic. The same goes for M. Night movies…we all know the surprise is coming…and by the time it goes we know what it is.
What annoys me even more is that the Saw franchise has been greenlight to go up to Saw VII. Eventually they are going to run out of ideas for ironic/sadistic deaths to give the sinners that Jigsaw puts through his trials of survival. It won’t end up like the other horror genre movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elmstreet, because the prodcution value for the films is the reward for putting “Twisted Pictures” on the map. Yeah they might shoot the film in just six weeks, put the price tag for developing the gadgets of gore become more and more eloborate.
It’s not scary anymore. It’s just gross.
And frankly I’d rather watch “Silence of the Lambs” for the twelth time. That movie still scares the bejesus out of me.
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