Soccer Mom Sidelines

Change is in the air

Posted on January 6, 2008 by aluongo
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Well, the new year is here. Have you made any resolutions this year? Or are you like me, and had all good intentions of making resolutions, but then realized how silly that was because you’ll just break them anyway?

I feel good about this new year. Normally, I do try to look toward things optimistically (unless I’m in a mood, that is) and this year is no different. I feel change coming and I’m hopeful about it. I can’t really explain that, so don’t ask me to. I just feel hopeful about the year ahead. I feel good things are in store, whatever they may be.

My husband tells me I live in la-la land. Do you think so? LOL No, I don’t, of course. But I’ve recently decided that, instead of always hurrying to do something and to be someone and to get somewhere, I’m going to take more of a “Let’s see what happens” approach. I’m going to ease off the clutch just a bit….just enough to see what happens.

This doesn’t mean that my dreams or goals will change. It just means that I’m not going to take myself (or anyone else) so seriously. I’m going to stop and smell the roses. I’m going to enjoy the view from here. I’m going to allow adventure in.

Happy New Year.

Hollywood goes Plymouth

Posted on December 23, 2007 by aluongo
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Well, well, well. A movie studio might be built in Plymouth. It’s exciting, for sure. Two thousand jobs? A boost in tax revenue? A boon for local businesses? What’s not to like?

I’m trying to see a downside to this. And the only one I’m seeing is our town officials, in good faith, I know, tripping over themselves by demanding this and demanding that.

Now, I did read tonight that Ken Tavares has said that he wants the studio to become part of the town, and not for Plymouth to go Hollywood. I completely agree with this. I have no interest in our newspaper becoming a smaller version of Variety or OK! or InStyle. This is a big town with a small-town vibe, and it would be nice to keep it that way.

BUT…..yes, there’s the but. I hope that the powers that be here in town do some detective work and make sure this company is who they say they are. I’ve never heard of them myself, though that doesn’t mean much, but I want someone to tell me that this is a solid company with an extensive and strong background, that will put their money where their mouths are. I haven’t seen that anywhere, unless I’ve missed it.

I think this would be a good thing for Plymouth, if it IS actually the real deal.

Living vicariously

Posted on November 29, 2007 by aluongo
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A very good friend of mine is an author who has just released her third book in a series. We joke that those of us who haven’t “made it” yet are living vicariously through her. LOL

It’s true though. Her little triumphs are felt by all of us, as if they were happening to us. We are so proud of every little plug she gets, every glowing review she gets, every “list” she makes it onto….they’re not only felt by her, but by each of us who waits and hopes for our own name to be on that list.

Of course, we all know that it’s her doing the work, putting in the time, putting the words on the page. It’s her who disappears for weeks and months, delving herself into her characters’ lives, only to resurface when she needs to take a breath, and she deserves every kudos she gets.

When she e-mailed me to tell me to take a look at the thanks in the back of her new book, I read them so quickly, I completely missed my name. It was only after I re-read it, that I saw it there, with a group of special friends, I felt like a rock star. I felt like “someone important” and someone who has the great fortune to know this writer whose career is on the rise. She knows what the rest of us are hoping for, because she’s getting there herself, step by step.

I’m so proud of her. Can you tell?

By the way, my friend’s name is Madelyn Alt, and the book is “Hex Marks the Spot.” Buy it. It’s very cool.

In search of adventure

Posted on November 19, 2007 by aluongo
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Ever see the movie “National Treasure”? We follow the adventures of a small band of treasure hunters, as they race to search for the…..well, the national treasure. I love these kinds of movies.

I was in New York recently with a group of friends. And as I’m one of those sickening people who thinks every new day brings the opportunity for adventure, each time we did something we’d never done before, I’d whisper in my friend’s ear “See? An adventure.” LOL

For example, we rode the New York subway for the first time. No big deal, right? And it wasn’t. But it was something we’d never done before, and we were following another member of our group who wasn’t positive we were going in the right direction. But I wasn’t worried. I looked forward to seeing the place we would re-emerge. Hey, at least at was daytime! LOL

I can’t say I’d take the kinds of dangerous chances that Nicholas Cage and his party are taking in this movie. Then again, if I were searching for a multi-billion dollar treasure, maybe I would. In the meantime, I’ll take the little adventures each day offers, and count my lucky stars I have them.

Times are scary

Posted on November 1, 2007 by aluongo
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Can someone please tell me when it became ok for 13-year-olds to dress like hookers on Halloween?

I was shocked to see neighborhood kids I know dressed last night like they were the on their way to a bachelor party rather than looking for candy.

But I wonder even more what it was their parents were thinking when they allowed them to leave the house looking like this? Didn’t they notice?

Maybe it’s me. Am I too strict? My daughter left wearing a black sweatsuit, fully clothed, and wearing a bit of my makeup, admittedly, to go trick or treating with her friends. But when I saw what her friends were wearing, or what they weren’t wearing, rather, I just wanted to throw a blanket around them and tell them to go home and change.

I was that way at 13. I wanted to pretend I was a woman too, and not a little girl. But 13 twenty five years ago wasn’t like it is now. It was risky then. It’s frightening now.

A beautiful thing

Posted on October 28, 2007 by aluongo
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Today was the kind of autumn day you read about. It was gloriously sunny, cool and windy. The leaves were falling and neighbors were out and about, hurrying to clean their yards, knowing future opportunities would become rare as the weeks ticked away.

It was the same for us. We worked like crazy on the back yard, raking and mowing, sweeping all the pine needles off the deck, cleaning things up so there would still be time to enjoy the day before the sun went down.

We took a ride to Ellisville Harbor in the evening. That place has such a peaceful, otherwordly feel to it in the evening. The treck through the woods was exhausting, yet invigorating at the same time, with the air so fresh and cold. The sunlight was reflecting off the marshes, which were flooded at this time, and glistening in the evening light.

The beach was lonely and cold, and the tide was in. The sound of the waves crashing on the rocks always thrills me. I think it’s because I grew up in the city, and living this close to the ocean always amazed me. I feel so blessed to live in this place. I know, I know, I say that all the time. But I can’t help myself. The beauty of Plymouth continues to take my breath away at times, and I have to blink to make sure I’m not dreaming.

It’s a beautiful thing.

The fairweather fan

Posted on October 25, 2007 by aluongo
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Ok, ok, I admit it. I’m a fairweather fan. I don’t watch the Pats unless they’re in the Superbowl or if my husband has the game on, and I only watch the Sox during the season if they’re playing the Yankees, and even then only if there’s nothing else on.

Before you throw plastic cups of Bud at me and revoke my Red Sox Nation card, let me tell you this. If the Sox are in the championship, I will neglect everything else in my life to make sure I watch every game and cheer them on. I will stay awake, yelling at my television and frightening my children, until the wee hours of the morning, even knowing I have to get up for work only a few hours later.

The same thing goes for the Pats. I listen to conversation and read the news to see how they’re doing, without watching the games, until I hear they’re in the Superbowl. Then, life stops, at least until they win.

So, yes, I’m only on the bandwagon and waving my colors when things are going well, but then I’m in it all the way.

Ok, maybe not enough to camp out for three days in front of Fenway. But other than that, I’m IN baby!

Growing pains

Posted on October 19, 2007 by aluongo
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I spoke with another mother today at work about our teenage daughters and how they were beginning to have those problem friends…the girls who run hot and cold where friendship is concerned. My daughter has told me several times about a particular girl who is her friend one day and who hates her the next.

I had a friend like that once. When she was being a good friend, she was great. But if you crossed her, at least in her mind, she made it her mission to make your life miserable. She didn’t have many friends besides me, because not a lot of people would put up with that kind of garbage, but since I knew she could be a good friend when she wanted to, and because I felt she was in need of a good friend in return, I kept allowing her back in my life, again and again. Until the time I’d finally had enough.

In one final swoop, she added the last straw and I cut her out of my life completely.

Then, about five years later, a letter from her arrived at my parensts home. Of course, she had no idea where I lived by then. I was married and had a three-year-old at the time. In her letter, she apologized for her childish behavior (just as she always did), and told me exactly what I had done to make her so angry (this was typical). She went on to tell me she wanted us to be friends again.

Now, if I had been single still and living at home, I might possibly have weakened and given in. It’s what I did. She knew this. My relationship with her had been a mentally abusive one. She was like a spouse who verbally assaulted me and played mind games with me and I kept accepting her apology and coming back for more, hoping she’d changed.

But not this time. See, this time, things were different. I was married and I had a child to consider. At that time, I felt fiercly protective of my toddler. So I got a pad of paper and wrote a long letter in return.

I could’ve just stated the obvious and said no thank you, but in my mind, that wouldn’t have been enough. I pointed out how lucky she had been to have me as a friend, and how she had taken advantage of that fact for too long. I told her that I wouldn’t want someone as unbalanced as her around my child. And I finally told her, very nicely, in fact, that I hoped one day she would get the help she needed.

And I never looked back. Was I too harsh? No. If you knew her, you’d agree.

I told my daughter that she’s a strong, likable, confident girl. I told her that she didn’t need friends who would treat her like that and take her friendship so lightly. I told her this girl wasn’t a real friend.

We’ll have to see what happens.

Been a while

Posted on October 16, 2007 by aluongo
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Well, hello again! It seems like so much has happened since I last wrote here. I’ll try to catch you up as much as I can.

As you can see, the look of my blog is quite different now. It’ll take some getting used to for all of us, I think. A friend of mine said today, New Englanders don’t take kindly to change. She’s got that right, for me at least.

Soccer season is on and the kids are kicking butt and taking names. I’m so proud. LOL Yes, I know that’s probably an insensitive thing to say in a politically correct world, but tough noogies. I’m very proud of them. They’re team players and they’re not shy and they don’t hold back. Good for them.

One sad thing has happened in my absence here. My mother in law passed away this past Friday. She had suffered a stroke about three years ago, and another one about two months ago. Even though it was expected, it was still a shock to hear that she was dead.

I hope that doesn’t offend anyone that I prefer to use “dead” instead of “passed away.” The term “passed away” has always been just a softer, gentler way of saying someone died. It’s a waste of language in my opinion. It makes me imagine someone floating off into the distance as we wave goodbye to each other.

Kathie died. She went to sleep and never woke up again. I’m honored to say we were close and we were friends. I’ve known her for 20 years. I’ll miss my friend.

Sorry for the morbidity. The sadness is still fresh. I promise a cheerier post next time around.

Too Soon

Posted on October 2, 2007 by npizzolato
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As my second-grader sat at the kitchen counter doing homework the other evening, and I was in the bathroom putting a load of laundry on, I heard her ask, “Mom, what would you do if I said I have a boyfriend?”

Now, even though she’s only 7 and we’ve already had the discussion that at this age, a boyfriend is really more like a boy who is just a friend, etc, just the words coming out of her mouth in such an older tone made my stomache clench. “Why do you ask?” I asked.

“Well,” she said, “last year Zack was my boyfriend, but this year my boyfriend is Andrew, and he kept messing up by being all goofy and crazy-acting and silly, and then I told him I’d give him one more chance to be my boyfriend and stop doing all that other stuff, or it was over between us.”

The knot in my stomach tightened. Why couldn’t she just be happy watching Dora the Explorer anymore? Why do boys always have be introduced into the scenario?

“Well,” I said, “How exactly do you expect him to act?”

“I expect him to be a good boyfriend.” She said this so matter-of-factly, that I felt very old suddenly. And then my 13-year-old piped in.

“A good boyfriend shoudl have a good sense of humor and SHOULD be silly sometimes,” she said. I looked at her with my ‘how the heck would you know’ look. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Well,” the youngest said again, “I think he should just stop acting silly and do what I say.”

And I felt the tiny icicle of a headache creeping around the corner of my right eye, spreading it’s fingers over the side of my head.

“I’m done with homework. Can I watch TV now?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “And only Disney Channel.” (sigh)

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