Idol Thoughts

The first speed bump in my AI coverage

Posted on January 29, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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I know how disappointing that is to hear, but it’s true.

Last week I had personal obligations so I missed the first half of Tuesdays episode, and then as I had my trusty laptop on my lap watching Wednesdays, I realized, wow…this early round of sending people to Hollywood is really boring.

Of the 23 people they sent through to Hollywood on Wednesday night you only saw two or three of them. Which means I listened to a lot of silliness.

So I’m amending my Idol coverage.

During auditions, I’m only going to do a recap, because frankly, it’s gotten to the point where I can copy and paste previous posts and just change the name of the city.

And Paula hasn’t been nearly crazy enough to get a whole blog out of her.

American Idol: Night Two, Part Two

Posted on January 16, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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I swear, I’m not going to even respond to bad audtions. Even the ones that think that they are good.

Katie Malloy is 18 and does a great Britney Spears song impression. And then she does a Carrie Underwood. And then Simon asks to hear her. And she gives the best rendition of the Righteous Brothers “Unchained Melody” I’ve ever heard.

Little know fact: the Righteous Brothers were neither Brothers nor righteous.

My darkhorse for the competition is Kyle from OSU who has dreams of being Governor. I’m not sure why…but I can see him making it to the “you vote” shows.

Colton Swan has a great name and a great voice. He’s going to Hollywood. If the was American Name…he would win though.

Farm boy Drew reminds me a lot of Carrie Underwood the farm girl. And the best genuine guy voice I’ve heard in the 3.5 hours I’ve been watching.

American Idol: Dallas

Posted on January 16, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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22 hours later the show starts up again.

In Dallas, where everythings bigger. I mean if you don’t believe me, just listen to the plus size drag queen that announced it two minutes into the show.

It starts off with Jessica Brown a mother of two and former meth head.

This will be the third stay at home mom I’ve seen in two days. She not that bad, the mama’s got some pipes, and gets to Hollywood, but I don’t see her going very far.

And now it’s time to see the stand-up comedians to try and be funny and make a name for themselves. This is why I don’t like watching the first week, and why I don’t get through the whole show.

Of course the bad thing about being in Texas is that that’s where Kelly Clarkson is from so that means we get to hear TONS of Kelly Clarkson wannabes. And to think, I use to really like the song “Since U Been Gone.”

First breakthrough is a 16 year old girl who thinks, “Carrie Underwood looks like me.” She nails a Faith Hill song.

Bruce Dickson sings “Ain’t no Sunshine,” and he’s good but not good enough for Hollywood. However his real story is that at the age of 19 he has never kissed a girl and won’t until his wedding day. Which I have to say is noble, but his relationship with is father…which I’m sure is very loving and supportive, seems a tad incestuous. Why? Well, Bruce has a a key necklace around his neck. The lock part, which resembles a heart is around his fathers neck. Like I said, really sweet and noble….liiiiitle bit creepy.

Brandon Green from the deepest southest parts of Mississppi, peels his nails and saves them. Very gross. But he really nails a Hall and Oates song. And gets through with Paula and Randy saying yes and Simon saying no.

However we have 4 Dawgs by Randy and a nasty sexual innuendo comment Simon makes to Paula about her having a crush on young Brandon.

Oh Simon.

American Idol: The touching stories

Posted on January 15, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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It wouldn’t be a reality show without a touching human interest story, and American Idol has got a ton of that.

A lot of times it revolves around family.

Like Angela Martin, whose daughter has a debilitating rare disease called Rett’s Syndrome. She just wants the best care for her young child.

So American Idol is hopefully going to be her breakout chance. And she’s a good singer, with a nice infusion of Motown to a mainly pop audition.

She’s going to Hollywood, and she’s humble and has a great back story. America loves humble and back story in American Idol. So Angela Martin, not that it means anything, but you are my second pick to go far into the competition.

Sadly, Seacrest needs to hog the show. Yes, I know he’s the host, BUT, does he need to be jumping around with each family!

Kristy Lee Cook

She’s a horse trainer and also is a mixed martial arts fighter. And if this show don’t want her, UFC get her in the Ultimate Fighter.

She reminds me of a Carrie Underwood. And she’s not crazy. Which is an added bonus.

And she’s going to Hollywood.

But so many people aren’t.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, it’s tough for me to find different ways to say “wow these people are really bad.” So I’m going to try and not focus on the bad ones.

Because the bad people are just….so overwhelming.

Some people think it’s funny….I’m just waiting for The Office to come on to get my funny.

But the good ones like 28 year old Beth, a single mom with a album she made when she was 4 called “Jesus Loves Me.”

Simon said no but Paula and Randy said yes…which really doesn’t come as a surprise.

After Show #1

Randy = 5 Dawgs

Simon = 6 smarmy comments (”Give my love to the Wookie” being my personal favorite.)

Paula = 0 Drugged up gazes.

Philadelphia Part 2

Posted on January 15, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
Filed Under American Idol, Fantastic, Not-so-fantastic, Paula, Randy, Ryan Seacrest, Simon, Singing | Leave a Comment

I love montages…especially montages of bad singing.

Simon has quickly caught up to Randy after dropping the Eff bomb on one contestant and telling another one to shut up.

And now for the montages of good singing.

My first standout pick is Jonothan Baines, based on the fifteen seconds I heard.

Temptress Gold, is one of the rare people that go on the show and think they can sing and really believe the dream. Not a performance artist. She’s sixteen and says she plays on the football team and she’s on the show for two reasons…her and her sick mom.

Even Simon liked her, because he knew she was genuine.

The First City: Philadelphia

Posted on January 15, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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The First Spotlight Kid: Joey

Lost 204 pounds and it’s changed his life and his sleek new look fits nicely back to his rendition of “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5.

And he’s going to Hollywood.

So we’re off to a great start.

But they are already promoting the bad singers.

Which leads me to my first point about American Idol.

The first season it was funny, seeing the bad singers who legitimately think they are good.

But since then, American Idol has become an audition tapes for performance artists who want to show that they are edgy and that “anyone” can get on tv.

So they go in and murder songs like “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and “I’m a Slave for you.”

For instance this kid “Uka” is just doing a bad Borat impression. “I want to love her from her hair to her nipple.” Trying to be shocking and foreign, but not to shocking because he wants to get comedy gigs in Hoboken.

Randy’s Dawg Count: 4

Paula and Simon however are still at 0 but the night is still young.

A New Season Begins

Posted on January 15, 2008 by Nick Pizzolato
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I’ll be honest. I’ve never liked American Idol.

I’ve never watched a full season of it.

I’ve never voted.

I didn’t know who Sanjuay was until he ruined “Let’s Give ‘Em Something to Talk About.”

Frankly, I got really turned off from it when Ruben got second billing to Clay Aiken, because Clay was more marketable, but Ruben won.

I mean it doesn’t matter that both their albums were less than stellar (and there follow-up albums were far-less than stellar), but it’s the principle. Ruben won, Ruben should get all your attention.

But this year, I’ve dedicated myself to American Idol. Whole heartily, I will eat, breathe, and sleep the show through bad auditions until the final star-studded last episode.

Every time Simon says something smarmy, I’ll be watching.

I’ll count every “Yeah Dawg” said by Randy.

And most importantly I’ll try and compute the amount of drugs that Paula is on.

This is “Idol Thoughts.”